So, it's finally summer. It seems I only post here once a year at most. I just felt like typing this all down to get it out of my system. Ive been having some pretty deep thoughts these past few months. I think everybody goes through this phase where you start asking to yourself how all of this came to be. You start questioning. For example the big grand question that has crossed the mind of most: What is the meaning of life? Others ask: Why am I here? What purpose do I serve in this world? well, I've been having those thoughts in mind for a while and truth be told, I don't think anybody can truly answer these questions. Life is just life. If we start looking for the meaning of everything, we'll be missing out on what really matters: living. I've tried and tried again to stop thinking about it and just keep going, but there's always a part of my mind that's always brooding about what's to come. Now with summer here, I fear that all this free time will lead me to those thoughts again. I want to be more active and just forget about what could happen tomorrow. Live the day to the fullest; like it's my last.
   I think this started back in March when I got a little sick. It wasn't anything serious but I started feeling nervous every time I had to go to sleep. I fear what I couldn't answer; what I couldn't see; what I couldn't predict. I get nervous every time I feel a little weird and immediately think of the worse case scenario and I hate it. I wish I could just live carelessly like I used to. And I know it doesn't have to be just a simple wish because I know I'm just overreacting. I know this will all pass by as a memory of the time where I feared getting sick. Everybody fears that. So I just have to get through it.

okay, just wanted to get all these thoughts out if my system. I probably sound like an idiot spouting all this nonsense and going around in circles, but it's better to let everything out than to keep things bottled up.